this time last year was when I had to go to a meeting at church to talk about marriage to engaged couples. Well when I got home I saw that my neighbor to my parents had called...I knew something was wrong and I started to freak out. I started to listen to her voicemail as she was calling me again.
She was calling to tell me that my dad had just been taken by ambulance to the hospital. My 12 year old brother, 17 y.o sister, 23 y.o bro and his friend were home. My mom unfortunately was at the store. She had taken my other bro to a meeting. She told me that he had started to cough up blood then passed out...while my youngest brother looked on...he screamed for my sister who came out downstairs. she then called my other bro and his friend. His friend called 911 and my bro started to do cpr...unfortunatly, he couldn't get an airway open, so he just did chest compressions until the ambulance arrived. He was taken away...my siblings all went to the neighbor's house and called me. Of course the one night I'm not home...At about this time my mom got there, she talked to me and said she was going to the hospital. She would call when she had an update.
Unfortunately, I got a call a few minutes later and my dad had died....I will never forget that call. I was speechless as was my brother who was in tears on the phone. We decided to leave that night and went to say goodbye...I had Keith call my dad's sister and my mom's parents. As I know they wanted to know, but I was in no shape to talk to anyone. We packed up my sleeping son and my closet...(the things you do when you are in a rush) and drove the 40 minutes to the hospital.
I walked into the ER and we sat in a waiting room...not a sole was around. My yougest bro was in tears as was my mom and sister. Which of course got me going too...my mom asked if I wanted to see him. Honestly I didn't...but knew I had too. My husband encouraged me to go at least for some closure.
I will never forget the sight or the smell...to say the least. To see my dad in the condition that he was in wasn't the way I wanted to remember him. I kept thinking he would sit up and start joking with us...but he never did. It was horrible and not something that I hope to ever have to see again.
We finally left and we went back to my mom's to attempt to get some sleep...yeah sleep, what's that? it felt like something was missing in that house, especially b/c the last time I saw my dad he was sitting on the couch, being a smartass as always.
I learned a lot about planning a funeral and about my dad over the next few days. My mom had no idea what to do, so I made the decisions. We wrote the obituary and picked out his urn. It was a creepy feeling to be standing in a room surrounded by caskets and urns. We finally picked one out...
we went to my aunt's house where we all met up as a family including my dad's side of the family that we didn't see much. We met with the reverend who would be doing the memorial service. When they ask you who do you want to do the service, she was the only one I could think of and she knew more to our story than most people...she again had us all crying. But she was very good and professional about it.
She asked us to remember good things about him and something we wanted to share....know how hard that was? It took us a few minutes to come up with some stuff. Unfortunately, alot of the memories I have are bad, and I seem to try my hardest to reflect on the good. After all my son deserves to know who his grandfather was and to know the good until he is old enough to understand the bad.
One thing that always stands in my mind is what Rev. Maier said...we have to remember that, Jeff, was human and we all make mistakes....this summed it up the best without saying what we were all thinking.
My brother Ryan, said it best as well...which is the serenity prayer. Grante me the serenity to accept the things I can not change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.
I learned alot about my brothers especially in the days to follow. You never see a person cry or be sensitive and then something like this happens and well...its like your world falls apart!
so tonight, we will be going to the same meeting that sparked all this a year ago. I just pray that I do not come home to more bad news....
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Been Tagged!
Amy tagged me so I guess I will oblige and write down 6 habits...although I'm having a hard time thinking of stuff! Here are the rules:
1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules.
3) Share six non-important things / habits / quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least three people.
5) Be sure the people you tagged KNOW you tagged them by commenting what you did.
So here are six strange facts about me:
1. I am married to my first boyfriend! the one man who has truly ever held my heart. I love him more than I could have possibly ever imagined! I am truly blessed to have him in my life.
2. I am addicted to chocolate! I just worked out for 20 mins and sat down and ate it! that's addiction...
3. I once had a cat named skittles.
4. I HATE coming in contact with skunks or raccoons. I met a raccoon face to face one night and I freaked out! My dad rescued me...but then laughed!(that's what i get for living in the wilderness) Keith will also love to share the story of how I ran a raccoon over one night!
5. I have a terrible gag reflex!(thanks for the reminder amy!) it was even worse when I was pregnant...and of course the dentist found the need to go poking and proding.
6. I am determined to have a normal delivery next time we have a baby! (a.k.a. vbac)
the only person that I can tag is Lori-teacher turned mommy! everyone else has already been tagged!
1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules.
3) Share six non-important things / habits / quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least three people.
5) Be sure the people you tagged KNOW you tagged them by commenting what you did.
So here are six strange facts about me:
1. I am married to my first boyfriend! the one man who has truly ever held my heart. I love him more than I could have possibly ever imagined! I am truly blessed to have him in my life.
2. I am addicted to chocolate! I just worked out for 20 mins and sat down and ate it! that's addiction...
3. I once had a cat named skittles.
4. I HATE coming in contact with skunks or raccoons. I met a raccoon face to face one night and I freaked out! My dad rescued me...but then laughed!(that's what i get for living in the wilderness) Keith will also love to share the story of how I ran a raccoon over one night!
5. I have a terrible gag reflex!(thanks for the reminder amy!) it was even worse when I was pregnant...and of course the dentist found the need to go poking and proding.
6. I am determined to have a normal delivery next time we have a baby! (a.k.a. vbac)
the only person that I can tag is Lori-teacher turned mommy! everyone else has already been tagged!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
The List...!
Thanks Lori for the idea! It makes you really think about things if you stop and think about the little things in life! So here is my list...just the things of today, this weekend, week, month, or even year! haha
1. I love that little boy sleeping peacefully in his crib.
2.he is a BIG flirt with his loong eye lashes and multicolored eyes. he tapped a guy on the elbow tonight at dinner and he turned around and started talking to him. well i tried to distract avery from doing it, but the guy was playing along, and all of a sudden, we get the grin, dimples, and giggle! he thought it was a riot!
3.I love my friends! It was so nice sitting in Amy's new house and just doing nothing, but watch our kids play and avery flirt once again!
4.I miss my girls a whole lot! we need to buy a neighborhood and move in together...maybe i wouldn't be so lonely and we could all be better motivated to loose weight!
5. my husband for throwing me in the snow even though that's what I was trying to do to him! i wasn't happy when he did it either...but you can tell we are still kids at heart!
6. i love having new sheets and new comforters on my bed!(can you tell what we bought?)
7. weekends are NEVER long enough
8. chocolate its sinful but tastes oh so good!
9. apparently its 10 as my husband tells me its time for bed!
night all!
1. I love that little boy sleeping peacefully in his crib.
2.he is a BIG flirt with his loong eye lashes and multicolored eyes. he tapped a guy on the elbow tonight at dinner and he turned around and started talking to him. well i tried to distract avery from doing it, but the guy was playing along, and all of a sudden, we get the grin, dimples, and giggle! he thought it was a riot!
3.I love my friends! It was so nice sitting in Amy's new house and just doing nothing, but watch our kids play and avery flirt once again!
4.I miss my girls a whole lot! we need to buy a neighborhood and move in together...maybe i wouldn't be so lonely and we could all be better motivated to loose weight!
5. my husband for throwing me in the snow even though that's what I was trying to do to him! i wasn't happy when he did it either...but you can tell we are still kids at heart!
6. i love having new sheets and new comforters on my bed!(can you tell what we bought?)
7. weekends are NEVER long enough
8. chocolate its sinful but tastes oh so good!
9. apparently its 10 as my husband tells me its time for bed!
night all!
Monday, February 18, 2008
15 month dr. appointment
yup so he is getting big! nothing we didn't already know!
Height: 29 1.4 inches
weight: 21.9 lbs, there is a little concern here but not much. dr says it is normal to have them loose a little or not gain as much b/c they are more mobile. Although, we will be going in for a weight check in 6 weeks.
Everything else he did great with! only one shot, made mommy a little happier and we didn't have to pin him down on the table and of course he took it like a champ! he even smiled, waved, and clapped for the nurse who just gave him the shot!
dr. asked about his speech and I said he babbles a lot, but not many words come out. he said it was fine and i should see a big increase in his vocab soon. I just have to remember that each child develops at their own rate!
Here I am all worried about my son not being up to speed developmentally, but he is actually ahead in some areas. it puts my worries at ease.REMEMBER: each child develops at a different rate! I always think he should be doing more, or maybe I should be doing more with him. But now I am confident that he is doing just fine...and that means I am too!
Height: 29 1.4 inches
weight: 21.9 lbs, there is a little concern here but not much. dr says it is normal to have them loose a little or not gain as much b/c they are more mobile. Although, we will be going in for a weight check in 6 weeks.
Everything else he did great with! only one shot, made mommy a little happier and we didn't have to pin him down on the table and of course he took it like a champ! he even smiled, waved, and clapped for the nurse who just gave him the shot!
dr. asked about his speech and I said he babbles a lot, but not many words come out. he said it was fine and i should see a big increase in his vocab soon. I just have to remember that each child develops at their own rate!
Here I am all worried about my son not being up to speed developmentally, but he is actually ahead in some areas. it puts my worries at ease.REMEMBER: each child develops at a different rate! I always think he should be doing more, or maybe I should be doing more with him. But now I am confident that he is doing just fine...and that means I am too!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
eyes of a child
watching a child grow and discover the world around them, has got to be the greatest gift God could have EVER given me.
Avery's personality has just blossomed. And to think a year ago he was maybe rolling over! He does new things everyday. He also thinks he is hot s#@$ when he does it!
I love his laugh and when he goes on and on with it. Keith was making him laugh, which in turn makes us laugh.
He truely is my son...I was making dinner and daddy wasn't home yet. I wasn't sure how well this was going to work out, but it worked for the most part. Well he saw the green pepper sitting on the counter. He kept pointing to it, so I handed it to him. He proceeded to walk around the house chewing on the pepper. He didn't eat much, but he actually took bites out of it. I love eating raw peppers...daddy not so much. Then he got the red one, but threw it on the floor!
Before dinner, I walked over to the counter and as I turned around I watched him climb ever so gracefully onto the couch. He grabs the remote and in true guy form, he points it at the tv and changes the channel. I walked over with the camera of course, and he is sitting there with a big grin on his face. Like haha mama! He then stands up and proceeds to jump on the couch. I say no and sit him now...yeah loosing battle. Luckily he never fell, but came very close, if I wasn't there he would have fallen on his head...maybe i can hang the couch and love seat from the ceiling?
He is just getting so big, so fast!
Avery's personality has just blossomed. And to think a year ago he was maybe rolling over! He does new things everyday. He also thinks he is hot s#@$ when he does it!
I love his laugh and when he goes on and on with it. Keith was making him laugh, which in turn makes us laugh.
He truely is my son...I was making dinner and daddy wasn't home yet. I wasn't sure how well this was going to work out, but it worked for the most part. Well he saw the green pepper sitting on the counter. He kept pointing to it, so I handed it to him. He proceeded to walk around the house chewing on the pepper. He didn't eat much, but he actually took bites out of it. I love eating raw peppers...daddy not so much. Then he got the red one, but threw it on the floor!
Before dinner, I walked over to the counter and as I turned around I watched him climb ever so gracefully onto the couch. He grabs the remote and in true guy form, he points it at the tv and changes the channel. I walked over with the camera of course, and he is sitting there with a big grin on his face. Like haha mama! He then stands up and proceeds to jump on the couch. I say no and sit him now...yeah loosing battle. Luckily he never fell, but came very close, if I wasn't there he would have fallen on his head...maybe i can hang the couch and love seat from the ceiling?
He is just getting so big, so fast!
Monday, February 4, 2008
sweet things a son can do!(death mentioned)
I heard the best (and saddess) story this weekend. A family that goes to church was telling us how their adoptive son got another tattoo. well he dad was a little upset about it b/c he had just joined the military and couldn't understand why he would get another one. Then he found out what it was...
him and his wife lost their baby during childbirth after 12 hours of labor. Her name was Sarah. His son got a tatoo of a celtic cross with her name on it and the saying "she gave me life..." which is true b/c they wouldn't have adopted him if they hadn't lost her!(oh now i have the chills) his dad saw it and he goes I can't be mad anymore...his mom was like he immortalized her. what a thoughtful and sweet son(he is 19-20 i believe.
him and his wife lost their baby during childbirth after 12 hours of labor. Her name was Sarah. His son got a tatoo of a celtic cross with her name on it and the saying "she gave me life..." which is true b/c they wouldn't have adopted him if they hadn't lost her!(oh now i have the chills) his dad saw it and he goes I can't be mad anymore...his mom was like he immortalized her. what a thoughtful and sweet son(he is 19-20 i believe.
Friday, February 1, 2008
one of those nights...
do you ever have one of those nights where you wake up and wonder if you ever really slept? that happend last night...i swear i was sleeping but my mind was still racing like crazy. Kept thinking about the day and weekend coming and all the things I accidentally planned for a VERY busy weekend! Of course I kept waking up and Avery woke me up a couple times but went back to sleep!(thank goodness)
I will admit, I do not sleep as well as I once did ever since my 2nd trimester of pregnancy. They say you never go back. Avery has slept through the night for a very long time...now if mommy only could!
such as life as a mom!
I will admit, I do not sleep as well as I once did ever since my 2nd trimester of pregnancy. They say you never go back. Avery has slept through the night for a very long time...now if mommy only could!
such as life as a mom!
good news
seems to be that my daycare is finally taking off! although i am being very unorganized and need an entire weekend to get my life situated baby free...but that never happens! I will just have to push myself to get it done! hopefully i don't go crazy in the process!
I have currently loss 9 lbs in operation lmfa! wahoo! keep it up heather, you go girl! (ok enough tooting!)
And of course this daycare taking off couldn't come at a better/worse time. why you may ask? we could really use the money just to get out of debit and fix the poor cabinets that are falling off the wall! Bad...i have TERRIBLE baby fever. Avery deserves to have a baby brother or sister and as much as I want to right now I am enjoying my little guy, getting the daycare rolling after months of no activity, and FINALLY loosing weight. So eventually Avery will have a baby sibling just who knows when. Plus we also need to make sure daddy is happy in this new job of his! seems like things are always changing...
I have currently loss 9 lbs in operation lmfa! wahoo! keep it up heather, you go girl! (ok enough tooting!)
And of course this daycare taking off couldn't come at a better/worse time. why you may ask? we could really use the money just to get out of debit and fix the poor cabinets that are falling off the wall! Bad...i have TERRIBLE baby fever. Avery deserves to have a baby brother or sister and as much as I want to right now I am enjoying my little guy, getting the daycare rolling after months of no activity, and FINALLY loosing weight. So eventually Avery will have a baby sibling just who knows when. Plus we also need to make sure daddy is happy in this new job of his! seems like things are always changing...
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