Recovery...

sure has been slow this time around! They say your second c/s is easier...well I can honestly say its NOT! I was starting to feel back to normal monday which was one week postpartum, but after that it all went downhill!

Monday we had to take Quinn to the dr and Avery to get blood work. I took it slow walking and of course I wasn't driving. Keith decided to stay home monday and just enjoy the 4 of us. He had to work part of the week I was at the hospital and I feel bad he didn't get all the bonding time with Quinn like he did with Avery. But in this economy we can't afford a whole week without pay..

Tuesday was my first day home alone with both. I was nervous about it, but knew I could handle it. Afterall, I had 3 toddlers everyday for the last 9 months! It wasn't bad at all, Avery listened for the most part and we just hung around and watched movies. I will admit I've let him watch more movies/tv this week, but recovery hasn't been so hot so I haven't been able to do much else with him. I feel bad, but I'm very limited.

Tuesday night I started to feel sore again...I just figured I over did it and needed to rest. Even though my house was a COMPLETE diaster when Keith got home. I really didn't do much other than fold laundry, but I find if I sit to long then i get stiff and feel worse. So I try to move a bit in between feedings.

It was worse wed, to the point I was in tears. I couldn't get out of bed and Keith had to help me. I thought it was issues with my "digestive system" so I took gas meds and more "softener"(tmi sorry). I was having a sharp pain going from one side of my abdomine to the other. Then it was all crampy. I just layed low. It really didn't get much better and then my back started to hurt.

Thursday morning rolled around and Keith made me call the dr to see about going in. He was thinking the worse. Well after talking to the midwife we concluded that I pulled a muscle near my hip and the cramping could be gas, unterine contractions from nursing, and that I just needed to take it even more easy. So that's what we are doing this weekend...

My mom came down to help with Avery and to entertain him and to allow me to sleep in a little. I feed Quinn and then send him downstairs. Last night actually went better than it has since we've been home. Hopefully this sleepin while nursing will end soon and he will continue to sleep in longer increments. I got about 8 hrs last night...not in a row of course. But I felt better. Still not as sore while sleeping, but very stiff in the morning and takes me a bit to move around. Keith tries not to laugh at me, but he still does!

Quinn is still nursing great! Its so nice in this economy not to have to buy formula! I said to keith it was nice not having to pack up bottles, water, and formula in the diaper bag on monday. Nursing is tiresome believe me, but I know in the end its well worth it. They say the first 6 weeks are the hardest...so I only have 4 more to go! So far so good! I think my mom still thinks I'm nuts for doing it, but she doesn't say much now. I haven't had to nurse in public yet so that might be interesting...

Now I just need to get Quinn to sleep in his own bed! He likes to be held or sleeping with us. Not the ideal situation, but right now Keith and I both need our sleep and we are trying to work on getting him on his own!

Quinn's name

Keith and I struggled this ENTIRE pregnancy coming up with names. After all it is a very important decision you face as a parent. Then when we didn't find out what we were having it made it even harder. We threw names around all 9 months...and towards the end we had a definate boy name...Everett Martin. The middle name was always going to be Martin after my dad. When we started to tell people the name, my family wasn't a fan, but it didn't really sway our decision. It was the one name we could agree on so we stopped talking about a boy name.

For a girl, we didn't have a name picked out. Well Keith did, Isabell/Isabella. the middle name was set at Elizabeth as it is his grandmother's middle name. I wasn't sold on it AT ALL! So if we had a girl I was going to pick another name on his list. After all I had picked Avery's name and I'm still in love with Avery on my sweet boy.

Well...when Quinn was born they showed me him and out popped the name Quinn. Keith looked at me funny and said, "where did that come from?" It was a name we threw around a couple times after seeing it on a stroller when we went to the big E. I said he doesn't look like an Everett to me at all! After being in the OR for an hour he still didn't look like an Everett and kept saying Quinn in my groggy, drugged state of mind. Keith looked at me and said you can name him whatever you want after going through what you just went through. So Quinn it became!

After recovering for a bit, he called out families and friends. We still weren't quite sure on the name so he told them that. When he called my friend Amy, she asked the name, and Keith said "i don't know..." Amy was puzzled and said "you don't know?" he said well we THINK its going to be Quinn. Which I'm sure she was surprised at. My mom was glad it wasn't Everett as she didn't like the name at all and kept trying to get used to it! We heard this from a few people and I was still happy with my decision. I still am happy with the decision and was glad we picked it! It just fits him so well! Its just funny how quickly things can change!

Wordless Wednesday

Brotherly love! This is one of my favorite pictures of all my boys! Just missing the dog...yes I'm clearly outnumbered!

Avery pretending to be a dog! He will also eat food off the floor like Rascal if I'm not quick enough to stop him!

One Week...

one week ago today, my sweet baby boy was born. I have to admit its been a bit surreal! But we are slowly getting back into things and a routine...maybe.

we went to the dr today for his one week check and he is doing great! he is up to 6 lb 14 oz, he left the hospital at 6.8 lbs. Apparently, mama's milk is doing him good! Keith met the pedi for the first time and really liked him.

I feel like he is so much older b/c he has been nursing so well. I can only hope it continues to go this week as it has great benefits to Quinn and our wallets! Now if I could just get him to not fall asleep after 5 mins of nursing, I wouldn't feel like I spent all my time doing it! He is pretty good at night, but it takes 30 mins to an hour sometimes for him to nurse. But I'm hanging in there and know it will get better!

The dr said everything else looked great and we go back in 2 weeks just to check to make sure his belly button and circ. is healing well. ALthough Im sure they will weigh his as well.

Avery is doing well...a few outbursts/throwing toys but nothing to bad so far. Tomorrow will be my first day home alone with them, and hopefully all goes well! we then took avery to get his iron checked again. We waited longer than it took to get the blood taken. He was a brave boy and didn't flinch or anything again this time! He is being a great big brother, but I do miss snuggling with him and being able to pick him up.

Quinn Martin

This week sure has been a busy and tiring one! We welcomed our second son into the world on Monday March 16,2009 at 11:42 am. He weighed 7 lb 4 oz and was 20.5 inches. Here is his story...

All weekend I had been busy making meals so I wouldn't have to worry about them after I had the baby. Sat both Keith and I had trouble sleeping probably due to anxiety and nerves. I tried to keep myself busy so I wasn't thinking about the impending c-section(c/s).

Monday morning rolled around and we did sleep sunday night. My sister was here to stay with Avery and we left for the hospital around 8:15. Avery didn't seem bothered by the fact that we left him...which in a way made it easier for me to go! But I still wanted to feel like I would be missed! (I know deep down he did)

After arriving to the hospital and getting into my lovely gown, they put on the monitors and took all my vitals. Baby was still breech. We met with the pedi on call, the ob/gyn, and the anthesteologist, filled out paperwork, and waited.

They finally came in shortly after 11 to bring me to the OR. I kissed Keith and off we went into a cold OR. She started my spinal which didn't feel right AT all! I keep having/feeling sharp pains and she continued to ask what I was feeling. She finally got it in, laid me down, got me prepped, and brought Keith in.

Keith actually watched just about the whole c/s. He was able to take some great pictures(which if you know him, he doesn't always do this well). I was so glad he got them as then at least I could feel a part of the birth. (if you want to see the pics, email me or leave a comment as I don't feel comfortable posting them on the web. they are pretty gruesome, but neat at the same time!)

Quinn Martin was born at 11:42, crying the whole way out. He was NOT born breech and I have yet to figure out why or how...I honestly think they turned him before delivering him as it hurt really bad and they were tugging/pulling a lot! It was a VERY painful experience...they did have to use the vaccum as he was so high up to pull him out. As I laid there thinking they would need it, I heard a pop!

Keith got to announce he was a born and even though he had a mask on I could tell he was one proud daddy! He also got to cut the cord and I watched the whole time as they continued to pull/tug on things that just didn't feel right. It literally felt like someone was pulling out my uterus and stomping on it! They essentially were pulling on my uterus...but man was it painful. Again the dr. knew I was in pain and kept asking me if I wanted more pain meds...by the end it I had a half dose of demerol to take the edge off and it seemed to help a bit. It took them an hour to close...which I will be asking why at my 6 week appt. The c/s total should take less than a hour...so I really wonder if something happened.

They then continued to close and I felt every stitch...spinal wore off towards the end that warranted novacaine to finish. Did I mention I could feel my feet the ENTIRE time? But no pain besides the tugging/pulling...which in itself was painful! it was the most painful c/s I had ever had.

Originally, Quinn was going to be named Everett. Well after seeing him, I decided he didn't look like an Everett and in my foggy state, I looked at Keith and said he looks like a "Quinn". He looked at me a little puzzled and we didn't decide on a name right away...but he still continued to look like a Quinn. Keith said I could name him anything I wanted after going through what I just went through.

We spend the next 2 hours in recovery as Keith was a baby hog. I did get to hold Quinn for a bit as well while he went and got lunch and made phone calls. We made people wait long enough...

Ice chips never tasted so good after not being able to eat/drink since midnight the night before.

Recovery is going well and we've been home since thursday. Quinn is nursing like a champ. I'm still sore, but getting better! thanks for all the thoughts and prayers!

Random thoughts...

I seem to have a lot to blog about and chances are nothing is connected so for now here are some random thoughts!

1. I did end up going to the dr on friday and I got some nice antibiotics for a sinus infection. This was after he felt the need to tap on my sinuses and ask if he hurt...he could have asked where it hurt first!

2. I have horse pills to take...for those of you that don't know I don't take pills well AT ALL! Even breaking them in half is a struggle...so I will go from taking these to take pain meds on monday after a c/s. BUT I do love my ob for saying I don't have to take the last day of pills as I'm having the surgery.

3. Oh yes...baby will be arriving on Monday around 11 am. Totally scared and nervous! I try not to think about it, but also need to take the time to come to terms with not having my vbac. I have a stubborn baby..

4. If you thought being preg was uncomfortable at the end, try having a head in your ribs or between them...its VERY uncomfortable.

5. I'm a little sad to think that Avery's world is about to be turned upside down next week...I know he will adjust and be a great big brother but I'll miss the little moments with him! Hopefully I will still get a few!

6. As I drove up to the hospital yesterday he asked for the baby...guess we've gone there a lot! I said we would be getting the baby next week so at least there is a connection!

7. A certain family member is driving me crazy...enough said!

8. I will be running around like a mad woman this weekend so if I'm MIA you know why! So much to do, so little time! I also want to spend a day with my boy but not sure if that will happen now!

9. I will probably be MIA until at least thurs, dr said I could stay til friday if I wanted the extra "vacation". I know last time being in the hospital was NO vacation, but Keith said it may be different this time...different hospital, different staff.

10. I really DON'T want to stay at the hospital by myself...it seems like a scary place to me and will miss sleeping with my husband. It can't be worse than the c/s right?

11. I am nervous about the spinal and wish my husband could be in there and hold my hand...I guess I'll just squeeze the nurses hand really hard!

12. The dr did say Keith can watch and take all the pics he wants during the c/s. I told him I wanted some bloody ones! Hey if I can't have a "normal" birth I would like to see my child messy..hehe. Keith said he can see what he can do, but he doesn't want to see them cutting me!

13. I am sad that neither of us will ever experience the way birth is supposed to be...but it is in the best interest of me and baby.

14. I hope NO ONE announces what we are having so Keith can do it! He deserves to be part of the experience too! I am looking forward to that moment and I may even cry! Hopefully I won't be as drugged up as last time.

15. what is with the random people calling my house today and NOT leaving a voicemail so I know who you are? (i don't answer if i don't know you!)

Wordless Wednesday

2 years...

and one day. I have a hard time grasping sometimes that it has been 2 years since my dad passed away. I swear that I should see him when I walk into my mom's house and then reality slaps me in the face when I realize he isn't there and I see the "box". ( I meant to blog yesterday and just didn't have time)

I am glad I didn't go into labor and have the baby yesterday though. March 8th is a hard day anyways and didn't want the reminder on my baby's birthday. I still to this day hold regrets about my father and I's relationship and would give ANYTHING to go back! I wish I had one more day or knew that he was that sick and we could have made amends. Of course I know, that he knows deep down that I have forgiven him and loved him, afterall he was my dad. But I was never able to tell him and I'll never hear his voice again.

There is always something reminding me of my dad and with this pregnancy it has been even more apparent. I'm not sure if its b/c we plan on using his middle name for the baby if its a boy or if it seems to be the fact that our house is falling apart and he isn't here to fix it for me! If nothing else he would do that for me at least...our cabinets are falling off and we joke its my dad jumping on them, there is something wrong with the roof and he is poking holes in it. If something breaks or needs to be fixed I want to call him and ask how to do it or if he can do it...I just don't have that luxury anymore.

Everytime I look out my window I see the picnic table he made for us which can be hard to see, but I know it was made with love and something we really needed and wanted! They say people have a certain smell to them well...I still smell it. Sometimes there are other people around, other times not. People will walk/act a certain way and I'll think my dad did that...

I think the HARDEST part about loosing my dad especially now that Avery is getting older and is fascinated with outside and "building" things is not having him here to share those with Avery. My mom and I were talking about that this weekend and he was ALWAYS outside with us doing things and showing us how to do them. Even me being a girl he would say "just b/c you are a girl, doesn't mean you can't do it!" I know how to use a hammer, screwdriver, or to put things together all b/c my dad showed me. I know how to camp and hike(and hope NOT to get lost), set up a tent, start a fire, or go fishing. I know these are all things I can show Avery and Keith too...but I would love to see them interact with each other and build those memories. I'm sad that Avery will never have that kind of grandfather figure in his life and to have these memories to live and grow on.

I know I can't go back and change anything, but its always a daily reminder about my dad someone in my life. Avery has his eyes too so I see it EVERYDAY! Avery also talks about gramp gramp alot even stuff I have never told or showed him before. Somedays it is just creepy!

RIP dad and know that you are missed everyday that you are not here with us!

Emotional Roller Coaster...

that's what I've been on today! It's bad enough that I still have this cold and it seems to only be getting worse, so I will be going to the reg. dr tomorrow morning. The ob/gyn said to wait until monday after taking sudafed, but unless I see some drastic changes tonight I'm going tomorrow. I have pain/pressure in my face, behind my eye, and my ears are blocked. I would like some reprieve before what I"m about to post now...

We went in for yet another u/s and dr's appt this morning. I had said to Keith last night that I think the baby turned, but he thought it was just the baby's butt...well come to find out I was right and NOT what I wanted to hear. My fluid levels were down a little(21 from 25) but still high in the dr's book. It is still possible that the baby will turn again...but at 37.5 weeks it doesn't seem possible.

Oy...so off to the dr. We actually saw one of the midwive's instead of the dr that I thought I was going to see. Basically we had to schedule a c-section(c/s). They won't try to flip the baby(inversion) b/c of my prior c/s which I'm ok with b/c I don't want that extra risk and then have to go off for another c/s anyway. I couldn't schedule it until at least 39 weeks, I was aiming for Friday the 13th even though that doesn't sound like a good day, but schedule wise it was going to work.

Right now its for Monday the 16th. I needed it this week as that is the week my sister will be able to help out. We are trying to get Keith to work as much as possible during this time as he has no vacation time and we obviously need the money. Hopefully it will work out and someone will be able to help me with a the baby...I'm really not that worried about Avery, but maybe a little! I know we will manage and do what we have to do. They say recovery of a repeat c/s is better so I really hope it is, i just didn't want it this time and wanted to ACTUALLY experience labor and giving birth naturally.

I had been back and forth so much this pregnancy that I had FINALLY set my sights on the vbac...and now my dreams came crashing down. I had pictured giving birth naturally, catching the baby, feel it on my chest, watching Keith cut the cord, and nursing right off...and now all my dreams are GONE!

I think Keith could see it that I was scared and disappointed...he told me it was going to be ok and we would get through it. I told him easy for him to say, he's not the one on the operating table, numbed from the chest down, and getting sliced opened. He said no, but I'll be there to hold your hand.

I cried all the way home as I was able to stop and think and process what had just happened. I was also listening to the radiothon about the NICU and PICU and that had me bawling as well!
Needless to say I was a mess and the dr told me to take sudafed, so I was an emotional basket case AND drugged!

I seem to feel a little better about it now, but it still shocking and disappointing. Hopefully I will be able to come to terms with it before next monday. Keep us all in your prayers as I am still scared, but would like some peace about it. I also want a nice healthy baby and my recovery will go well!

I can't ask for to much at this point...right?

Wordless Wednesday

*i apologize if i used this one already...i need to take some new pictures!