Being a mom part 2

when you become a mom you learn to do without a lot of things in life! But would you ever go back? Most if not all, would say never! I sure wouldn't go back and want to be childless after experiencing what I have in the past 15(closer to 16 months.)

First off, I didn't have the labor or delivery I personally wanted. I was going to attempt no epi or pain reliever, despite what people have told me. After all its my decision. Well, Mr. Avery wasn't coming out...and he might have just stayed there forever. I had a bad feeling when my due date came and went...10 days later I am laying in the hospital, hooked up to pitocin, and the nurse asking me if I am having contractions. Umm...HELLO! you have me maxed out on the pit, why wouldn't I have contractions, my body doesn't hate me that much! Well 10 hours later I managed to progress from 1 cm to 1 cm...you need to be 10 cm. So they stopped the pit. Then Avery was having heart decels so they rushed me in for an emergency c-section. Finally, at 8:20 pm he was born.

Looking back on his birth, which is something I seem to do often lately b/c we keep talking about another baby, I can't help but remember or not remember Avery's birth. It was all a blur. So it was probably a combination of the drugs they had me on, the spinal, and just pure exhaustion. You know in the baby book where they ask, mom's first thought after birth, well mine was "he looks like Jason!(my brother) that's it, no oh he's beautiful/handsome, he's wonderful nothing...so that's frustrating to me. Of course he is just about the most handsome kid I know now, but I am also a bit partial!

My husband and I soon became very sleep deprived, one being I was sliced open across my abdomine and I couldn't tend to the baby, so my husband who doesn't know much about babies at the time, takes care of him! Thank God for him and for putting up with the fact that I couldn't dress myself, walk, or climb the stairs.

After having a baby there is just nothing left to be desired. Every person possible has either seen "down" there, your insides, or your attempt to breastfeeding.(that's a whole other blog) so you pretty much give up your body, sleep, and anything associated with it!

-New clothes? hardly know what those are....clothes with stains that you've had for 4 years since you graduated college, yup that's what I got. Good thing Amy is going to take me shopping to buy some new ones!

-personal time?-haha, what's that? I hardly can pee without someone watching. Afterall you must be able to see mommy at all times! Luckily, amy has rescued me from this at least once a month.

-time with my husband? yeah that's mostly gone too...but at least we still sleep in the same bed, and talk before I crash...so 5 minutes tops!

-sleep? I used to be a great sleeper, could sleep through ANYTHING soundly! not so much anymore and it really pisses me off! I love to sleep and I LOVE my bed. I either ache or toss and turn. Then my husband snores! Its a never ending cycle. My son has slept through the night for 7+ months now, why the hell can't I?

-hot dinner? don't know what that tastes like either

-food not being shared with a toddler? been missing that for a while now!

-clothes without some kind of food, snot, or other unmentionables on them...don't have many of those either. I can't help that I'm a mess some days, but add on a toddler that just loves to share everything with you!

But you know....listening to the big belly laugh(like we had so many today), watching the smile and dimples creep across his face, getting snuggles, and watching the dancing is worth every little thing I have sacrifice for that sleeping littly baby across the hall! He is worth every penny I have stretched 10 ways to be able to stay home with him. He was worth the surgery and the recovery. He was worth loosing all the free time I once had.

and someday when the time is right...I will have another one, but that also means loose more "time", but it can't be much worse than having 3 babies for 8 hours during the day. so i know I could handle it...eventually!