Today

I'm having one of those days where I feel very lonely and could cry at the drop of a hat. Most of you know why I might be "emotional" lately, but now other things are factoring in.

I haven't seen my friends since the end of April and it feels like it has been FOREVER. I haven't talked to them much either and I'm beginning to feel VERY lonely. I feel like I am the only one in the world today as I hear both boys blabbering b/c they are up from their naps.

I'm having a party for my husband's 30th bday. Its a big one after all and I think he deserves to have a party so I can show my appreciation for him and others can too. I had 60+ people on the guess list, I rented a place to have it, and now I have maybe 20 people coming, not counting the people who haven't rsvped. Apparently in this world we don't know what rsvp means...i know its a holiday weekend, but its also the weekend of his bday so when was I supposed to have it. I just feel bad that no one can seem to take the time to spend with each other.(this is in NO way to make the people feel bad reading this that won't be able to come. Amy does have a legit reason.) Its just so frustrating b/c I plan things and then no one comes. I feel like no one likes me or my family and they all say "screw you" when in reality my husband or I would bend over backwards for many people we know. ok we would for all of you.

I haven't been out of my house it feels like in ages. I do get out a bit on the weekends, but I don't go very far or see anyone either. Everyone is so busy and gas prices are outrageous! I still just can't seem to shake the feeling that I am the only one in this world and no one can be bothered with me. Maybe I'm hormonal.

I also bounced my check book last weekend. Yeah this has been fun to try to deal with. Luckily we had money to help it, but I can't help to think we may be in trouble soon with the way the economy seems to be going. Not much I can do about it really, maybe get a part time job or a full time second shift job, but then I mind as well kiss my time with my family goodbye.

I also just came off a week of my husband being super busy that Avery hardly saw him and I saw him a bit more, but not much. Maybe a half hour before going to bed and the we conked right out.

It really hasn't been a fun and enjoyable day today...